Today I turned in 75 pages of my SMP. 75 pages written within three weeks. I am so burnt out.
Then it was off to the Phi Alpha Theta inductions (of which I am president) at the Alumni Lodge, after which I made dinner for my boyfriend (Scrambled egg pasta).
Yup. I am slowly de-stressing. Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym before lab, wash brick for 4 hours, eat lunch with my bf, and then go home for spring break.
I made it.
But just barely.
12 March 2010
09 March 2010
When I was younger and thought of myself, I never dreamed I would become like this....
Very stressed, very ill. On a better note, I've finished my Historiography, Flight vs. fight, and quarantine chapters entirely (save for the conclusion, but those are always the last to be added because I hate summing things up entirely). The chapter that I am currently writing has 1600 words and I have another two and half hours before I will return home to sleep.
The wait for the Oxford results is becoming excruciating. With 13% acceptance rate, I have pretty much accepted that I will not get in. Still, I hold out the faintest bit of hope because this IS my dream, not to be lightly given up. I've worked hard for this and, hopefully, all of that hard work will pay off. A little under two weeks until the results have to be mailed out. (I check my mailbox several times a day in the vain hope that perhaps they've sent them early, but to no avail...yet.) Knowing my luck, the letter will arrive at school while I am on spring break.
Ugh...I wish I could just SEE that I've been rejected. It will stop the hoping and the 'what if's' that keep running through my head, distracting me from much more important (and immediate) things, such as the SMP. Current page count (with just three chapters added to the file): 39. Predicted: 80+.
Back to work.
"We're going to pieces, we're falling apart"
The wait for the Oxford results is becoming excruciating. With 13% acceptance rate, I have pretty much accepted that I will not get in. Still, I hold out the faintest bit of hope because this IS my dream, not to be lightly given up. I've worked hard for this and, hopefully, all of that hard work will pay off. A little under two weeks until the results have to be mailed out. (I check my mailbox several times a day in the vain hope that perhaps they've sent them early, but to no avail...yet.) Knowing my luck, the letter will arrive at school while I am on spring break.
Ugh...I wish I could just SEE that I've been rejected. It will stop the hoping and the 'what if's' that keep running through my head, distracting me from much more important (and immediate) things, such as the SMP. Current page count (with just three chapters added to the file): 39. Predicted: 80+.
Back to work.
"We're going to pieces, we're falling apart"
08 March 2010
This week: (Mainly to keep track of things for the preservation of my own sanity).
Monday: Work at store 7-9; arch lab 9-5; dinner; start 'Remedies for plague' chapter; ODK meeting @8; finish remedies chapter
Tuesday: work at store 730-930; bio 10-12; lunch; work at store 1-4; grad fair 4-5; grocery shopping; start galenic chapter
Wednesday: arch lab 830-5; finish galenic chapter
Thursday: work at store 730-930; bio 10-12; SMP ROUGH DRAFT DUE @ 2 (AAAHHHH); Phi Alpha Theta induction ceremony @410; special dinner plans
FRI: arch lab 830-1230; HOME for spring break
I predict that I will be quite ill for most of this week. I also predict 3 hours of sleep a night. But I suppose this is what spring break is for -- a time to recover after almost working one's self to death. Ugh.
Monday: Work at store 7-9; arch lab 9-5; dinner; start 'Remedies for plague' chapter; ODK meeting @8; finish remedies chapter
Tuesday: work at store 730-930; bio 10-12; lunch; work at store 1-4; grad fair 4-5; grocery shopping; start galenic chapter
Wednesday: arch lab 830-5; finish galenic chapter
Thursday: work at store 730-930; bio 10-12; SMP ROUGH DRAFT DUE @ 2 (AAAHHHH); Phi Alpha Theta induction ceremony @410; special dinner plans
FRI: arch lab 830-1230; HOME for spring break
I predict that I will be quite ill for most of this week. I also predict 3 hours of sleep a night. But I suppose this is what spring break is for -- a time to recover after almost working one's self to death. Ugh.
03 March 2010
Graduation is in 72 days.
Since I am posting, it is quite clear that I am procrastinating writing tonight's chapter. Yes, that is right. This is chapter two of three due this week. Topic: Causes of the Plague. Seemingly easy, and yet the various arguments on each side need delicate treatment in order to be thoroughly covered. Also made a bit harder by the fact that today, upon inserting my thumb drive into my computer, I discovered that the file containing copies of ALL of my primary sources was somehow corrupted. I spent hours downloading each individual page of each source, all 133 of them, so that I would have access to the pdf files should Early English Books online go down (or, considering the state of the internet here at SMCM, the internet should take hours to load the site). Considering how large the file was, I was unable to directly save it to my computer. It was located solely on my thumb drive and, as I have found out today, I should have made a backup disk. Let me tell you, hindsight can be a bitch.
Do not fret, dear readers (or, as I rather suspect, just Mum and Dad): I will press on. This is but an unexpected hurdle in a race that is almost over.
In the meantime, I am getting ready to go the gym for an hour in order to de-stress and will then be at the library all night attempting to finish this chapter. Having spent too much time attempting to regather some sources, I've written the introduction and made a very detailed outline. Hopefully running on the treadmill will free up my mind to let the words flow once I come back, hop in the shower, and then head down to the temple of doom - er, the library - until the wee hours of the morning.
Wish me luck.
On the upside, once this chapter is in, I'm halfway done (Left to complete: Remedies for plague, the Galenic-Iatrochemist debate, introduction, and conclusion ) and the next chapter isn't due until Sunday night. Excellent.
Since I am posting, it is quite clear that I am procrastinating writing tonight's chapter. Yes, that is right. This is chapter two of three due this week. Topic: Causes of the Plague. Seemingly easy, and yet the various arguments on each side need delicate treatment in order to be thoroughly covered. Also made a bit harder by the fact that today, upon inserting my thumb drive into my computer, I discovered that the file containing copies of ALL of my primary sources was somehow corrupted. I spent hours downloading each individual page of each source, all 133 of them, so that I would have access to the pdf files should Early English Books online go down (or, considering the state of the internet here at SMCM, the internet should take hours to load the site). Considering how large the file was, I was unable to directly save it to my computer. It was located solely on my thumb drive and, as I have found out today, I should have made a backup disk. Let me tell you, hindsight can be a bitch.
Do not fret, dear readers (or, as I rather suspect, just Mum and Dad): I will press on. This is but an unexpected hurdle in a race that is almost over.
In the meantime, I am getting ready to go the gym for an hour in order to de-stress and will then be at the library all night attempting to finish this chapter. Having spent too much time attempting to regather some sources, I've written the introduction and made a very detailed outline. Hopefully running on the treadmill will free up my mind to let the words flow once I come back, hop in the shower, and then head down to the temple of doom - er, the library - until the wee hours of the morning.
Wish me luck.
On the upside, once this chapter is in, I'm halfway done (Left to complete: Remedies for plague, the Galenic-Iatrochemist debate, introduction, and conclusion ) and the next chapter isn't due until Sunday night. Excellent.
02 March 2010
Lessons learned in senior year: (Particularly this senior's year)
1. Nothing is ever easy. A semester that looks easy on the surface will probably end up resulting in death or, at the very least, emotional and mental distress.
2. SMPs are the worst idea ever.
3. Self-set 'deadlines' always are ridiculously idealistic and usually mean at least a day later. If not more.
4. Epiphanies can take place in the shower.
5. SMP = death of mind, body, and soul. Dante should have created a special circle of hell just for the SMP.
6. My SMP makes me feel as if I do, in fact, have the plague. And it is more effective than the quarantine imposed in the early modern period as it successfully isolates me from the rest of society, both well and infected (aka: other SMP-undertaking seniors).
7. It is possible to work on the SMP until 1am, sleep until 6am, go to the gym for an hour, and survive 8 hours at the lab (plus however many more it takes until I finish this chapter, my bio lab, and my bio literature evaluation).
8. Today (or, rather, yesterday) was my two-month anniversary with my boyfriend. Thank god for him, because no matter how terrible my day is, just seeing him is all it takes to bring a smile to my face and cause the sun to shine a little brighter. (How terribly cliche!) I don't think he reads this (or at least I hope he doesn't as he will then find out how truly odd I am), but if he does: just know that you take my stress away like nothing else does, even the gym (*gasp* A crazy idea, right!?!). I could never have made it through this semester without you.
I suppose I am complaining only because my SMP rough draft (all of it) is due on March 11. 10 days away. But, that is just the entire thing. I am currently (or, was...and soon will be back to) writing my third chapter. Presumably by the end of today, I will have thirty pages.
On a lighter note, spring break is in 11 days; I find out my Oxford results in 18 days; Maryland Day (and the Mackall barn launch) is in 27 days; and graduation is in 74 days.
Also: I will be raising funds for Haiti during spring break by 'running for Haiti'. I will be tracking the number of miles that I run between March 15 and March 29, in the hopes that people will sponsor me for each mile I run. If you can donate even just .10 cents a mile, it will add up. At the completion, I plan on sending the money to a charitable organization (probably not Red Cross though, as I've heard that the misdirection of funds has been awful during this crisis). I'll be tracking my progress, and blogging about international aid/development/updates in Haiti on another blog: http://runforhaiti2010.blogspot.com.
Update @ 9:51PM: Been in the library now for close to 4 hours. Have 5 pages (more or less) with the outline potential for a further 6 or 7. I hope to leave here at 11 or 12 so that I can go to bed by 1, wake up at 6 to do my biology lit eval and lab, and then go to work at 7:30. I feel like a poster child for what not to do during your senior year. I feel like my very soul is dying. That said, once this is done I will be the happiest person alive. So here's to hoping that I get this done very soon.
1. Nothing is ever easy. A semester that looks easy on the surface will probably end up resulting in death or, at the very least, emotional and mental distress.
2. SMPs are the worst idea ever.
3. Self-set 'deadlines' always are ridiculously idealistic and usually mean at least a day later. If not more.
4. Epiphanies can take place in the shower.
5. SMP = death of mind, body, and soul. Dante should have created a special circle of hell just for the SMP.
6. My SMP makes me feel as if I do, in fact, have the plague. And it is more effective than the quarantine imposed in the early modern period as it successfully isolates me from the rest of society, both well and infected (aka: other SMP-undertaking seniors).
7. It is possible to work on the SMP until 1am, sleep until 6am, go to the gym for an hour, and survive 8 hours at the lab (plus however many more it takes until I finish this chapter, my bio lab, and my bio literature evaluation).
8. Today (or, rather, yesterday) was my two-month anniversary with my boyfriend. Thank god for him, because no matter how terrible my day is, just seeing him is all it takes to bring a smile to my face and cause the sun to shine a little brighter. (How terribly cliche!) I don't think he reads this (or at least I hope he doesn't as he will then find out how truly odd I am), but if he does: just know that you take my stress away like nothing else does, even the gym (*gasp* A crazy idea, right!?!). I could never have made it through this semester without you.
I suppose I am complaining only because my SMP rough draft (all of it) is due on March 11. 10 days away. But, that is just the entire thing. I am currently (or, was...and soon will be back to) writing my third chapter. Presumably by the end of today, I will have thirty pages.
On a lighter note, spring break is in 11 days; I find out my Oxford results in 18 days; Maryland Day (and the Mackall barn launch) is in 27 days; and graduation is in 74 days.
Also: I will be raising funds for Haiti during spring break by 'running for Haiti'. I will be tracking the number of miles that I run between March 15 and March 29, in the hopes that people will sponsor me for each mile I run. If you can donate even just .10 cents a mile, it will add up. At the completion, I plan on sending the money to a charitable organization (probably not Red Cross though, as I've heard that the misdirection of funds has been awful during this crisis). I'll be tracking my progress, and blogging about international aid/development/updates in Haiti on another blog: http://runforhaiti2010.blogspot.com.
Update @ 9:51PM: Been in the library now for close to 4 hours. Have 5 pages (more or less) with the outline potential for a further 6 or 7. I hope to leave here at 11 or 12 so that I can go to bed by 1, wake up at 6 to do my biology lit eval and lab, and then go to work at 7:30. I feel like a poster child for what not to do during your senior year. I feel like my very soul is dying. That said, once this is done I will be the happiest person alive. So here's to hoping that I get this done very soon.
24 February 2010
07 February 2010
Life here on the river is as crazy as ever and much has happened since my last real update on --er--the first day of school. In my defense, I've been quite busy. Really!
A bit of good news to start off this entry: I've completely finished my graduate school applications. I submitted to St. Andrews and my two Oxford programs during the second week of January. I will find out from Oxford sometime in March. I doubt I will get in and perhaps it is for the best considering that I just paid my deposit to King's College, London. (I had asked them for an extension on deciding to accept my offer, but they refused since it is such a popular course.) That said, I do have a teeny bit of hope that I will get in to Oxford's IR program, in which case I am going to have to figure out what to do. Dad seems to think that I possess the ability to turn down the TOP IR program in the UK in favor of King's. I do not have this ability and it would be asking too much of me to turn down my dream school. As a result, I have picked up a few editing jobs on campus to help me raise money to pay back my deposit. This has to be done anyway, but should be completed sooner rather than later, especially in the (admittedly unlikely) event that I am accepted to Oxford. Either way, I am working through the rest of the year with the expectation that I will be headed off to King's this September and am quite excited.
This semester has proven me something of a liar to the freshman. One of the most frequently asked questions during first semester was, "Does it ever snow in St. Mary'?" to which I responded, "Snow? Hah! Perhaps an inch, but never more than that." Well, I bite my words now. Last weekend, in a storm that was quite unexpected by me, we received about 8 inches of snow. It shocked the hell out of me. At 7AM on Saturday, I looked out my window to see a gray sky but no snow. "The weatherman was wrong again," I thought somewhat smugly, and laid back down with plans to go running on the trails in a few hours time. At 10AM, I woke up again only to find that 3 inches of snow had fallen and completely covered the ground. I was in shock. The snow continued throughout the day and into the night, ultimately cancelling classes on Monday.
This snow event, however, was a tiny thing compared to what occurred yesterday. The entire DC region received somewhere between 15-30 inches. The power went out at home and several trees fell down. It was absolutely miserable here. I left the suite twice: once to go to brunch early in the morning (at which time it was not so bad, just cold) and once to go to the gym in the afternoon (a journey during which I completely accepted the possibility that I would very likely die on the way). The wind was terrible and sent snow like minute razors into the eyes. The snow levels were over a foot at this time and worked their way into snow boots, immediately soaking the socks and forcing the feet to numb. Absolutely miserable. It stopped at night and, as I write this, the sun has come up, but is doing little to melt the snow. I have a sneaking suspicion that classes will be cancelled tomorrow, although this does not really apply to me as I have already decided to do my lab work from home so as to avoid having to walk (or drive) over to Rosecroft.
Another event that has taken place in the past few days was the '100 Days' celebration. There are now less than 100 days until graduation. We celebrated by going to the Green Door, the local bar, which had special deals on drinks, but was much too crowded for my tastes. I left early and passed out in bed only to receive a very special visitor. :) It seems a bit surreal that we are now into the double digits countdown until graduation. On one hand, I am more than ready to graduate. Get me out of here! On the other...for the first time, I am content to live in the here and now. I've been given a reason to live in the present and not to constantly look forward to the future, to what is coming next. It makes for a nice change, but I know that the pain is going to be tremendous when the future finally gets here. One can only postpone the inevitable for so long.
Classes are going well. I am only taking one real one as I wouldn't have time for another since I spend 20 hours a week interning at the Archaeology lab at Historic St. Mary's City. But more on this later as I am off to work. Yes, despite the 10 feet of snow that lay on the ground and the warnings of the government for everyone to stay inside, I am trudging to the campus store to open for those individuals who might find a pressing need for...notebooks or pencils.
A bit of good news to start off this entry: I've completely finished my graduate school applications. I submitted to St. Andrews and my two Oxford programs during the second week of January. I will find out from Oxford sometime in March. I doubt I will get in and perhaps it is for the best considering that I just paid my deposit to King's College, London. (I had asked them for an extension on deciding to accept my offer, but they refused since it is such a popular course.) That said, I do have a teeny bit of hope that I will get in to Oxford's IR program, in which case I am going to have to figure out what to do. Dad seems to think that I possess the ability to turn down the TOP IR program in the UK in favor of King's. I do not have this ability and it would be asking too much of me to turn down my dream school. As a result, I have picked up a few editing jobs on campus to help me raise money to pay back my deposit. This has to be done anyway, but should be completed sooner rather than later, especially in the (admittedly unlikely) event that I am accepted to Oxford. Either way, I am working through the rest of the year with the expectation that I will be headed off to King's this September and am quite excited.
This semester has proven me something of a liar to the freshman. One of the most frequently asked questions during first semester was, "Does it ever snow in St. Mary'?" to which I responded, "Snow? Hah! Perhaps an inch, but never more than that." Well, I bite my words now. Last weekend, in a storm that was quite unexpected by me, we received about 8 inches of snow. It shocked the hell out of me. At 7AM on Saturday, I looked out my window to see a gray sky but no snow. "The weatherman was wrong again," I thought somewhat smugly, and laid back down with plans to go running on the trails in a few hours time. At 10AM, I woke up again only to find that 3 inches of snow had fallen and completely covered the ground. I was in shock. The snow continued throughout the day and into the night, ultimately cancelling classes on Monday.
This snow event, however, was a tiny thing compared to what occurred yesterday. The entire DC region received somewhere between 15-30 inches. The power went out at home and several trees fell down. It was absolutely miserable here. I left the suite twice: once to go to brunch early in the morning (at which time it was not so bad, just cold) and once to go to the gym in the afternoon (a journey during which I completely accepted the possibility that I would very likely die on the way). The wind was terrible and sent snow like minute razors into the eyes. The snow levels were over a foot at this time and worked their way into snow boots, immediately soaking the socks and forcing the feet to numb. Absolutely miserable. It stopped at night and, as I write this, the sun has come up, but is doing little to melt the snow. I have a sneaking suspicion that classes will be cancelled tomorrow, although this does not really apply to me as I have already decided to do my lab work from home so as to avoid having to walk (or drive) over to Rosecroft.
Another event that has taken place in the past few days was the '100 Days' celebration. There are now less than 100 days until graduation. We celebrated by going to the Green Door, the local bar, which had special deals on drinks, but was much too crowded for my tastes. I left early and passed out in bed only to receive a very special visitor. :) It seems a bit surreal that we are now into the double digits countdown until graduation. On one hand, I am more than ready to graduate. Get me out of here! On the other...for the first time, I am content to live in the here and now. I've been given a reason to live in the present and not to constantly look forward to the future, to what is coming next. It makes for a nice change, but I know that the pain is going to be tremendous when the future finally gets here. One can only postpone the inevitable for so long.
Classes are going well. I am only taking one real one as I wouldn't have time for another since I spend 20 hours a week interning at the Archaeology lab at Historic St. Mary's City. But more on this later as I am off to work. Yes, despite the 10 feet of snow that lay on the ground and the warnings of the government for everyone to stay inside, I am trudging to the campus store to open for those individuals who might find a pressing need for...notebooks or pencils.
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